Phonanxiety (fəʊnæŋˈzaɪəti)

Worst of all after a particularly long day where I was working "mobile", I settled down to read my book in the evening, only to notice myself finger scrolling on the paper page. The ingrained habit of motion terrified me. My brain was trained to scroll. Even at the height of my smoking habit, I had never had a phantom cigarette. 

Click Here for 2 Minutes Hate

We spew our instantaneous emotions to the world on Twitter,

Whilst remaining physically inactive and bitter.

Are we over emotional and spineless or just so numb to reality

To 24 hour news,

That it takes more and more and more to provoke a reaction.

Are we special snowflakes or part fused to the screen.

Break Your Patterns...

I just sometimes think we need to shock our systems, jolt our brains out of their comfy human paths which we all amble along everyday. Sometimes this can be by hearing something different, reading something different, trying to comprehend a person totally different to you. Go watch a Sci Fi film even if you hate it etc etc. I believe pushing out of those - to use a cliche - "comfort zones" can improve our creative and empathetic brains and help us to be better people.

Which Imagined Self Am I Buying for Today?

The problem is I fall into the trap time and again - as many of us do I think - of believing that having something or wearing something can magically transform me into the type of person that has that thing or wears that thing.  The advertised “perfect woman”. Everyone’s perfect “I” is different, or in fact you may have many. I lurch from wanting to be “Californian, vegan, yogi woman”, “French, fashion-blogger, digital-guru woman”, “Bisexual, spoken-word artist and Dalston dweller woman” and “Cornwall-living, mother of beautiful, perfect children and photographer woman.” Those are the main ones… there’s thousands of others that happen less frequently.

Catch the Moments of Your Life

“I know it feels like you have all the time in the world, but you don’t. So stop playing it so cool. Catch the moments of your life, catch them when you are young and quick, because sooner than you know it, you’ll be old and slow and there will be no more of them to catch. And when a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say thank you.” William, This is Us

What is your Story... This is Mine...

Every person you come across is living a completely different life, hearing something deeper or more shallow, seeing something you see from an alternate angle. We are moving stories and we live through these tiny little moments of earlier chapters that have built up to become a powerful wave in our psyches, in our memories, in the way that we digest the world around us. And not just past chapters but present emotions and how tired we are, and how stressed and how happy and how sad. Then we make decisions and it rolls on and on and on.

What the Paralympics Can Teach Us All About Limitations

I dislike the rhetoric of pity that some people use when talking of Paralympians, like I dislike it when people speak of those with special needs. Sometimes this can be even more damaging than cruelty and discrimination and foul language. Ignorant people who talk of cripples and spastics can be dismissed, but pity can put often kindly meant limitations in the path of those who are even slightly different. 

Moments of Joy: Love Always Wins & All The Books

Joy is hard to find in a week which began with a convicted rapist getting a three-month sentence and ended with tragedy... and that's without everything terrible in-between. It is in moments like this that I turn to books. We should all turn to books, to educate ourselves on experiences we haven't had, to comfort us, to increase our belief in love and the beauty of life.

Moments of Joy: Stupid Things and Becoming Stronger

I sat down in a cafe last week and wrote a list of things about myself that I'm confident of and others I still need help with - just for me -  and I'm proud that I can now write things in the former category. And I did some stupid things in the last fortnight too, but I didn't hate myself as much for them, because we are all human and we can't be fucking perfect all the time. One step at a time and realising that is SUCH A JOY. Here are my others for the last fortnight (oops)...

Flaunt It Up, Buttercup

Mel Brooks wrote in his 1968 film, The Producer's, "If you've got it, flaunt it" in a song that was very much about showing-off your body and I have no problem with that. Even though remnants of my ancestors' British reserve occasionally cringes at anyone flaunting anything, something I consciously squash - I am all for the boldness and defiance of the flaunt. Go forth and flaunt yourself people, but let's leave the judgemental sexism behind and reclaim the word for our bodies, our minds, our achievements and our souls. There's nothing wrong with showing off things we are proud of, but let's not assume please that every woman in a fucking bikini is flaunting her ass/arse for your pleasure and attention.

Moments of Joy Monday: A BBQ, Jam Session and Conversation

I went on holiday on my own for the first time ever and I relished every moment of it. I loved taking afternoon naps, eating supper late with a great book, staying up all night staring at the clear Thailand sky on the night of the New Moon. I loved not having to answer to anyone else for a while.

However, on my return I was itching for conversations with my nearest and dearest. That is what I missed most of all, the comfy connection of those who know you. I filled my weekend with it.

Nurturing Curiosity

This is why the Curious in the title of my blog. It is my feeling that our curiosities can save us, earth us, elevate us and are such a very integral part of what makes us human. Children are naturally curious and delighted with everything they discover and we should not discourage this, but mimic them. Whoever said "Curiosity Killed the Cat" is a fool. In good times and bad it is one of the greatest joys to follow your intrigues, whatever they may be.